Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
