I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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