I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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