he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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