After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
