i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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