so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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