I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
