woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
