I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
