I just made out with a guy for $7.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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