The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He keeps bees of course he's weird
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize