I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
