Soap is not a condiment
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
