i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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