when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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