The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize