I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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