Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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