I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
