No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
