Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
