Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize