Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
