At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize