I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
