In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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