with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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