Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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