You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
