i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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