Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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