My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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