I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
