I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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