So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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