ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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