So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
