feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
