Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
