Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
