Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.