He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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