I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.