I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle