In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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