Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
