Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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