he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize