youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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