Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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