Your mouth is God's brothel.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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