i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
