Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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