I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
of course. lets lasso hookers.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
