Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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