maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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