Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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