She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
