i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
