Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The Olympian is in my bed
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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