I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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