I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
